Sunday, 18 September 2016

the bear trap.

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Once there was a family That lived close to forest.One day Early in the morning they went For a jog in the forest. the forest was beautiful  their Was 2 people name  George and jack.

But one of them got his foot on bear trap he was excruciating on the sorf leaves he Screamed”help help”.

Then the boy Grabbed a sick and open the bear trap it Really Hart.then they went hostip.

1 comment:

  1. I like that you have used paragraphs, but where is your detail and powerful words? You can do better than this Timote! 'the forest was beautiful' - why was it beautiful? what made it beautiful? what did it sound like? smell like? feel like?.
    Try to add more detail in your next story.